Week 4 Lines

I have the honor of watching either a.) the Oakland/Miami game or b.) the Dallas/St. Louis game on Sunday. At this point, it's impossible to hear the words "Time Warner Cable" without wanting to punch somebody in the face. Maybe I'll get to see Lane Kiffin freeze Jay Feely during a last second field goal, complete with Feely flying to Bristol immediately after the game to give a rant on 1st and 10. Anyways, on to the lines...

Oakland at Miami (Miami, -4)

Kiffin attempts to freeze Feely, but fails, leading to a 17-14 Miami win. I hope one team would just win by twenty, so I can see exactly how good (bad) they really are. Oakland is ranked 15th in total offense, 27th in defense. Who would've thought that the Raiders would be better on offense than defense? Conversely, Miami is ranked 14th and 20th.

Houston at Atlanta (Houston, -3)

Despite what it seems, Atlanta hasn't looked completely bad. Maybe the news on Michael Vick's career going up in smoke will give this team some rest. Probably not. Houston 24, Atlanta 10.

Baltimore at Cleveland (Baltimore, -4 1/2)

I'm going out on a limb and say that Cleveland won't put up fifty. I'll also go out on a limb and say nobody can talk about the Browns without mentioning that they scored fifty against Cincinnati. I still don't like the fact that Billick might use a two-quarterback system, but alas, Cleveland is no good. Baltimore 20, Cleveland 3.

Chicago at Detroit (Chicago, -3 1/2)

I'm taking the Lions all the way on this one. While Griese might throw for 3 scores, the Bears are just too banged up right now. It won't help that in Griese's first start he's going on the road, either. Detroit 24, Chicago 20.

Green Bay at Minnesota (Green Bay, -2)

Last week, with both teams facing the AFC West, Green Bay beat San Diego and Minnesota lost to Kansas City. The Vikings have no quarterback, and the Packers are good defensively. Plus, Minnesota ranks behind the Rams offensively. Green Bay 28, Minnesota 13.

St. Louis at Dallas (Dallas, -13)

The Rams are no good, we know that. Dallas is very good, we know that too. However, I think St. Louis covers in this one. Even without Steven Jackson, this offense should be better, and I think playing Dallas is a good time to start producing. Dallas 30, St. Louis 27.

New York Jets at Buffalo (New York, -3 1/2)

There's a good chance that Buffalo is the worst team in the league. New England is going to win at least 12 games, so the Jets have to win these kinds of divisional match ups. Plus, I have a hard time betting on Buffalo with Trent Edwards behind center. New York 27, Buffalo 10.

Tampa Bay at Carolina (Carolina, -3)

This is Vegas' way of telling you that they have no idea which team is better. Well, neither do I. This is exactly the type of game that will tell us who is really the team to beat in the NFC South. As of today, Delhomme is questionable (well, he's questionable every week, really), so I'm taking the Bucs. Tampa Bay 17, Carolina 10.

Seattle at San Francisco (Seattle, -2)

I'm getting the feeling that Seattle's Super Bowl appearance two years ago is convincing people that this is still a good team. I'm not buying it. They are a team on the decline, and the Niners are a team on the rise. San Francisco 21, Seattle 14.

Pittsburgh at Arizona (Pittsburgh, -6)

The Steelers haven't really proved to me that they are an elite football team. Arizona has proved that they are mediocre. I also like the fact that Ken Whisenhunt is seeking revenge for not having the Pittsburgh job for the next twenty years. Pittsburgh 17, Arizona 13.

Kansas City at San Diego (-12 1/2)

What has San Diego done to prove that they are 12 1/2 points better than anybody? I refuse to look at last year's stats. The whole coaching staff is completely different, and not very good. On the flip side, they are probably as bad as the Chiefs' coaching staff. I'm begging for an LT/LJ shootout, but I doubt it. San Diego 24, Kansas City 14.

Denver at Indianapolis (Indianapolis, -9 1/2)

Vegas is way too generous on this one, in my opinion. The Colts will flat out dominate this entire game. And as we saw from Week 1, Coach Dungy (Manning) won't let a double digit lead get in his way to put up more points. Indianapolis 38, Denver 21.

Philadelphia at New York Giants (Philadelphia, -2 1/2)

Here's some advice to all you future superstars: if you make controversial remarks regarding race, religion, sex, etc., make sure that you play Detroit and New York back to back. McNabb could score over 100 in two weeks, and Philly fans would still boo a missed screen. I think the over/under on defensive backs covering Kevin Curtis is 3 1/2. Philadelphia 35, New York 21.

New England at Cincinnati (New England, -7 1/2)

Tony Kornheiser and Jaws better have their second half monologues ready, because this one will be done early. I have this penned as the week where Wes Welker goes for 100+ yards and 2 scores, since the Cincy defense will be all over Randy Moss. He's this week's Kevin Curtis. New England 38, Cincinnati 24.

Byes: Tennessee, New Orleans, Washington, Jacksonville.