Fantasy Football

Every sports page has a fantasy football column, so I might as well give it a go. My rules pretty much guarantee a second place finish, since I have finished second in every fantasy league I've ever been in, and am currently in a solidified second place in my baseball league. At least you won't come in last.

1. Kickers go in the last round. Period. Every fantasy guru in the world mentions this and everyone who has ever watched ESPN for more than an hour has heard it, but every year somebody picks a kicker way to early. Adam Vinatieri went in the 5th round in my draft this year. That's insane. Just don't do it. There's a reason every single analyst has this rule. You haven't found out a hidden secret of fantasy football success by picking Robbie Gould before a single defense has been chosen.

2. Pick a running back in the first two rounds, unless you're picking next to last in a deep league. And with that pick, take Peyton Manning. There's a good chance the guy with the last pick is going to grab him with his first two choices, plus you will get a serviceable back. I can't understand seeing Palmer and Bulger go to teams with only one running back. You need running backs, and you will get a decent quarterback in the third round. I promise.

3. Do your homework. I was really high on Laurence Maroney until I read that he won't be used very much inside the red zone. That kills his value. Getting this information is easy, and often free. The fact that you play fantasy sports shows that you care enough to be finding this information on your own. Not to mention if money is on the line.

4. Don't worry about tight ends. There's not much difference between them, and you can never tell who will have that breakout year. It all depends. Also, just pick one. By the time your one tight end has a bye week, more than likely you will have a player that has gotten injured or is not panning out. Use that roster spot to fill pickup a tight end off of waivers. You won't even notice the difference.

5. Don't start players who are facing your defense. Unless it's a star like Tomlinson or Manning, you don't want to have players who are trying to score points against your defense. You're basically leaving a slot empty, and in the case of your defense, possibly losing points. You can change your defense if it makes more sense, just don't start both.

6. Don't have an internet draft. If you're playing friends or coworkers who are all in the same city, hold your draft at a buddy's house or a place like Hooters. Not only is it a lot more fun, you gain a huge advantage. Without the draft lobbies pretty much telling everybody who to pick, you'll actually have to come prepared. If you make sure you are better prepared than everyone else, then it greatly increases your chances of winning.