NFL Week 6: No Touching

The NFL competition committee was is full effect on Sunday, as the frequencies of wide receiver screens, fake reverses, untouched quarterbacks and spiking penalties reached new heights. To show you how bad the Bengals' defense really is, just watch the amount the wide receiver screens worked against them. Good for 2 yards against any other defense, the Chiefs must have have 5-6 of them go for 5+ yards. And then you have the Patriots, who seemed oblivious to the fake reverse, and got bitten by one. With all of the 16-0 talk about New England, it seems rather silly if they're the only team in the league who can't stop that play. Staying with the Pats/Cowboys game, Dallas' defense would barely put two hands on Tom Brady before he went down. One could argue that Brady is smart enough to not risk injury, voluntarily hitting the ground before any damage could take place. But the Cowboys didn't even try to hit him. They purposely drew back and shoved Brady. This tells me that the new roughing the passer rules have made blitzing defenses scared of touching the quarterback. When DeMarcus Ware went unblocked on his way to a sure sack, Brady pump faked, Ware stopped in his tracks, Brady tucked the ball, then Ware pushed him down in the most gingerly of fashions. This isn't football, people. It is two-hand touch. I actually heard somebody on Sunday talking about how they want the XFL back. This is what we've come to, folks.

As always, the actual score in bold, by prediction in italics.

Cincinnati at Kansas City, 20-27, 13-27

The Bengals are bad. I knew that. I just didn't realize how bad they really were. Two coaches in this league, Marvin Lewis and Brian Billick, have teams beyond their speciality. Lewis' Bengals can't play defense, though his speciality is defense. Billick is supposedly a quarterback specialist who has never had a constant quarterback in Baltimore. I'm beginning to think that these coaches do nothing but hurt their teams. Cincinnati is 1-4, and now Chad Johnson is becoming a problem (welcome on board, folks), while the new-and-improved T.O. is 5-1. I had Cincinnati covering the -3. Oh well, Go Chiefs!

Houston at Jacksonville, 17-37, 7-21

The Texans really had everybody going there. Once a legit contender, now Houston has resumed its role as bottom feeder of the AFC South. You can't blame them; they weren't supposed to be ready anyways. On the other side, Jacksonville looks better every week, and David Gerrard has yet to throw a single pick. How does he expect to break Brett Favre's record doing that? Jack Del Rio is finally using Maurice Jones-Drew, and surprise, they are blowing people out. Perhaps coach Rio will save his job after all. I had J-ville covering the - 6 1/2, and they won by twenty.

Miami at Cleveland, 31-41, 14-17

Cleveland currently ranks 7th in overall offense. Huh? This was suppose to be a team that was headed by Brady Quinn by week 4, after the other two quarterbacks became too banged up to play. Now? The Browns are 3-3, with two of those losses to Pittsburgh and New England, teams who are a combined 10-1. Miami, however, is 0-6, and they host the Patriots next week. So, let's make that 0-7. With the Dolphins doing so poorly and the news that Dwayne Wade will be for a few weeks, the people of Miami must be bummin'. Wait, it's Miami. I had Cleveland winning but the Dolphins covering the + 4 1/2.

Minnesota at Chicago, 34-31, 24-22

Everybody in my picks pools had Chicago winning this one. Except for me. I was wrong on one account though; I will not be trading Adrian Peterson anymore. It's not that I expect him to have 3 TDs and 224 yards per game as much as I expect Shaun Alexander to continue to not produce. I think it's safe to say that the mighty Bears defense is done. They currently rank 27th in the league. And with no quarterback for the future and Cedric Benson turning out to be a bust, I fully expect Chicago to be one of the worst teams in the league next year. I had Minnesota covering the + 5, and they won by three.

Philadelphia at New York Jets, 16-9, 20-17

What a difference Brian Westbrook makes. In their second straight game at the Meadowlands, Philly went from a 16-3 loss to a 16-9 win. It also helps to play the Jets instead on the Giants. That means that Mangenius has still only won one game since his Sopranos cameo. With the exception of New England, the AFC East is 2-15. Those two wins: Buffalo over the Jets and the Jets over Miami. That means the only two wins these three teams have is when they had to play each other, where somebody in the division had to win. OK, maybe the Patriots will go 16-0. I had Philly covering the -3, and they did.

St. Louis at Baltimore, 22-3, 20-3

I was so close on getting this one exact. Though, picking the Ravens over the Rams isn't exactly a mind-blowing phenomenon. Scott Linehan, the game's worst coach, said of the beating: "Turnovers were the difference." Um, no Scott, you being the worst team in the league is the difference. I did pick up Steven Jackson on waivers though. Seeing as I have AP and MJD, I can hope that when Jackson comes back his play will improve, giving me some trade bait. If you were to tell me before the season that I would have Alexander, Jackson, AP and MJD, I would have bet my life on a championship. I am 2-4. Baltimore covered the - 91/2, and everybody knew it.

Tennessee at Tampa Bay, 10-13, 16-13

For once, Vince Young couldn't find a way to win. Well, it wasn't his fault. Injured in the 3rd quarter, Young watched on as Kerry Collins led the Titans to a game-tying touchdown with a little over a minute left, only to see Jeff Garcia lead the Bucs to the game-winning field goal. Can anybody smell the Madden Curse? I wrote back on August 28, "If Young goes down, the mystique of the "Madden Curse" will forever haunt future star players. I couldn't imagine anybody accepting to be on the cover after that. Which leads us to Madden '09, which will have Vinny Testaverde on the cover." At that point, Testaverde wasn't even in the league. Now, it might come true. Priceless. I had Tennessee covering the + 3, so it ends in a tie.

Washington at Green Bay, 14-17, 10-21

Green Bay didn't look too impressive. As Favre broke the all-time interception record, his Packers barely squeaked by with what i thought should've been an easy win. As far as the Redskins go, they need to win these games if they want to make the leap. With Favre, does anybody else get the feeling that Green Bay would be better off without him? The game has evolved, while Favre is still stuck in the 90's. After this year, he just needs to bow out. I had Green Bay covering the - 3, which is another tie.

Carolina at Arizona, 25-10, 14-27

Well, yeah, If I knew Tim Rattay would be playing the whole game, I would've had Carolina. What a horrible game (thanks for showing me, Fox!), with Testaverde and Rattay leading the way. I didn't watch, and I don't care about what happens. All I know is I played Kurt Warner, who got me negative fantasy points, and I lost my matchup by 5. I had Arizona covering the - 4 1/2, and of course, they did not.

New England at Dallas, 48-27, 28-21

Giving Tom Brady toys like Randy Moss, Wes Welker and Donte Stallworth is simply unfair. If Brady breaks Peyton Manning's TD record this year, the debate of "What would happen if Brady had Manning's weapons?" will be over. Never in my life have I seen a team so dominant as the Patriots. The defense, however, needs to play better. Plus, what's with Wade Phillips celebrating every sack like he clinched a playoff berth? Take a note from across the field, Wade. Notice that Dallas was the first team to constantly double-team Moss and that Welker recorded 100+ yards and two TDs. I had New England covering the -5.

Oakland at San Diego, 14-28, 24-21

I really thought I had my upset pick on this one. Alas, LaDainian Tomlinson had 4 Tds, canceling out AP's 3 TDs as I played Tomlinson's owner this week. Needless to say, I am really excited for the NBA season to start. Norv Turner won the Norv Turner Bowl, but watch out: Phillip Rivers stinks. He threw a horrible interception on Sunday which was returned for a touchdown. The good news for the Chargers: they held the #1 rushing offense in the league to 53 yards. i had Oakland covering -10, and they lost by 14.

New Orleans at Seattle, 28-17, 10-17

Shaun Alexander, you're dead to me. Seattle stunk up the place in this one, falling behind 21-0 and never recovering. I will be fighting to pick up Drew Brees off of waivers, though I'll have to wait and see if the Saints can consistently produce. It's nice that New Orleans finally got a win, but it's too little too late. Tampa Bay is winning the NFC South, so their only hope is for a Wild Card. But with Arizona playing Tim Rattay, San Francisco playing Trent Dilfer and St. Louis playing Gus Frerotte, Seattle will win the NFC West by default. I had Seattle covering the -6 1/2, and they got creamed.

Except for tonight's game, I went 5-5-2. That makes me 17-19-2 on the season.

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