Night For The Living Dead

There will be no NFL rankings this week, and probably none for the rest of the year, due to the fact that it's Indianapolis and New England against the field. Seriously, what's the point? It's really a bummer that the league is turning out this way, since it makes any game where those two teams aren't involved insignificant. The only new stories on Wednesday are the contents of Kobe Bryant's locker (which has been covered), and the futures of Joe Torre and A-Rod, which are all speculation. And with no baseball games on tonight, no quality television shows since the 90's, and the 10-hour rainstorm I am enduring, I turn to Dane Cook for some advice: "There's only one October!!!!",

That's right! I'm throwing out my multi-October calender and popping in some DVDs. With Halloween just around the corner (or if you're a Mets fans, it's been going on for about a month), what better way to spend a sports-less night than with some old-fashioned horror movies. In case you are deciding to put in your "I Know What You Did Last Summer" DVD, let me help you out. For the next two weeks, these are the movies you should be watching:

1. Dracula - the original, or course.

2. Nosferatu or Vampyr - pick both if you're into the silent films. If not, I suggest Nosferatu.

3. Frankenstein - again, the original.

4. Evil Dead/Army of Darkness - for when you need to laugh and scream at the same time.

5. Halloween - obviously.

6. White Zombie - just so you can tell your friends that you actually saw it. Speaking of...

7. House of 1000 Corpses/Devil's Rejects - unless your girlfriend is with you.

8. Young Frankstein - not really scary, but it might be the funniest movie ever.

9. An American Werewolf in London/Paris - always good.

10. Transylvania 6-5000 - it has Jeff Goldblum, Geena Davis and Kramer. Nuff said.

11. Beetlejuice - yep.

12. Actually, any Tim Burton movie - except for Willy Wonka. I recommend Edward Scissorhands, and if you have kids, The Nightmare Before Christmas.

13. Near Dark - a vampire western.

14. The Lost Boys - anyone under 40 should already own this movie.

15. Don't watch Scream - please, don't be that guy.

That should keep you busy. So heat up some popcorn, kick back, and enjoy the shows. Well, unless you want to watch reruns of E:60, that is.

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