Extreme Olympics

When it comes to the magic of superior human athletic achievement, only one thing comes to mind: ping-pong. Well, according to the Olympic Committee. For some inexplicable reason, pseudo-sports such as table tennis, curling, and badminton are put at the same level as basketball, gymnastics, and the triathlon. There is something a little odd about watching Bob Costas commentate on slow motion replays of the curling finals while "One Shining Moment" is playing in the background. It is beyond me why hopscotch, kickball, and passing notes are not yet Olympic events. And while these games that are better suited for kids who still believe in cooties are given precious airtime and consideration, a whole field of real sports are continually denied; extreme sports.

Skateboarding, BMX, and Moto X are the bread and butter of the X-Games. And yet, these are not considered "sports" by the middle-aged and out of touch personalities that are at the same time promoting ping-pong to the 18-24 male genre. They might want to redefine their words. After all, snowboarding is an Olympic event. Now tell me, other than the surface of which the sport takes place, what is the difference between skateboarding and snowboarding? Wheels. And that's about it. So why come 2008 will I not see Danny Way holding up a gold medal while the camera spans little kids crying and you can hear Costas saying, "This, is very emotional"? There are a lot of things that do not make sense in this world, but I cannot fathom a reason why extreme sports are so shunned by the Olympic Committee. I will say this: when the ratings for the 2008 Olympics come in, and when behind closed doors old men and women are frantically trying to save face, I'll be in my living room watching clips from the old X-Games, noticing all of the young men in attendance: the demographic most coveted by the Olympics.