Patriot Games

The 21st century is a time of overexposure and excessiveness. If there is even an inkling of desire for anything from anybody, the powers that be will stop at nothing to recreate what is deemed as profitable. Scary Movie's success bred the likes of Epic Movie, Superhero Movie, and whatever parody suck fest Hollywood spurts out annually. Survivor's ratings fueled television networks to replace creative thinking with reality shows. But in the sports world, the success of the New England Patriots has created a copycat league, so much so that the mere mention that you've visited Boston on your resume makes you a hot commodity.

First it was Romeo and Charlie. The two "genius" coordinators who banked on the Patriots' winning ways by landing head coaching jobs themselves. Crennel has since been canned, and Weis is seemingly running the once proud Notre Dame program into its own hallowed ground. This should have been enough to deter the popularity of Belichick clones. However, Eric Mangini landed the Jets job after being The Hoodie's mentor. After one good season and one bad Sopranos cameo, Mangini was fired after crumbling Favre's last season.* All is well though, as Mangini has now replaced Crennel as head coach of the Cleveland Browns.

And the train keeps rolling. The Chiefs hired Scott Pioli to save the franchise and build a Foxboro West at One Arrowhead Drive. Pioli's first move was to transplant Matt Cassel and Mike Vrabel to Kansas City, starting the ball on his own mini-Patriots. And the Chiefs fans couldn't be more excited. Staying in the division, the Broncos fired Mike Shanahan for the uber-young Josh McDaniels, following the creed that if it's been under Belichick, it must be money. And what has Josh done in his very little time in the mountains? He has successfully run pro-bowler Jay Cutler out of town.

I'm completely, utterly, 100% on Cutler's side. He's proven to be a solid quarterback in the NFL. But McDaniels wanted more Patriots, less Broncos, and tried to get rid of Cutler to make room for his boy Matt Cassel. Cutler was upset, as he should have been. After a bunch of "he said, he said", conflicting reports and VH1-style drama, Denver shipped their franchise quarterback to Chicago.

Maybe it's time that the New England Experiment grinds to a halt. Season after season, the idea of recreating the Belichick dynasty has produced nothing. After all, the Patriots got to where they are by doing things differently from other teams, not copying them. We need a new model.

Enough with the economy, stupid

What do Dominoes, Charles Schwab, car companies, the President and sports writers have in common? They're all using the black hole that is our economy to sell us their product. Pizza companies and brokers use it in the obvious ways, Obama uses it to sell his plans, and the sports writers of America use it as a gag to get you to read their columns. And it's getting really, really old.

Front page of ESPN on Monday promotes an article by baseball writer Jayson Stark which starts off with an 'enough is enough' cry about MLB's struggle during this recession. Finally. Except, he does exactly what everyone else is doing; using the economy as the backdrop to their otherwise weak attempt at expertise.

The basis of the article is to, I think, rate the most notable players of the game. This is done by breaking them into groups like "The All-Money Player Team", The All-Bear-Market Player Team", "The All-Most-Active-Stocks Player Team", and well, you get the idea. That's right, the best way to stop talking about the economy is to use it as an outline to your own column. Somehow, I think it misses the point.

And it's not like there is anything to actually gain from this market-laden rubbish. Writing about who the best team of all #11's would be (The All-Chapter 11 Team) or who has money-related names (The All-Moneyball-Name Team) is hardly expert analysis, and surely isn't worth the front page headline (I think there's some kind of basketball thing going on right now). It is the pinnacle of laziness.

So please, stop with the economy gimmick. Fans are already gruesomely reminded every time we open our paychecks, see ticket prices or buy a beer at the park, so stop reminding us when we're trying to enjoy life's biggest distraction, and start reminding us why the Worldwide Leader keeps your wallet stacked.

I enjoyed this 2009 MLB preview from Bleacher Report much more.

Is Lakers-Celtics really that big a deal?

Leading up to the Finals, every hardcore NBA fan was playing the same tune; a Celtics-Lakers match up would be the best possible scenario for the league. This, for the most part, has been wholly undisputed. The points seem to be that people like the rivalry and there are enough stars to draw mass attention. I'm not so sold.

First of all, there is no rivalry. It died a long time ago. The only reason there will be more emotional involvement is due to the fact that L.A. and Boston are big markets. It might as well be Lakers-Knicks. Because what made these two teams draw sides from innocent bystanders was unquestionably race - if you were white, you rooted for the Celtics; black and you were for the Lakers. Anyone who tries to deny this is kidding themselves. Unfortunately, the "Big Three" from Boston are all black, while L.A. has a guy on their team named - gulp - Walton.

And forget about the star power. Kobe is as big a star as LeBron, whose appearance in last year's Finals didn't seem to do much for the ratings. And sorry, but your mom doesn't know who Paul Pierce or Ray Allen is. She might know who KG is, but I doubt she cares. Unless Kobe is driving in millions by himself, what is the attraction here? Is there anybody that makes the most casual of fan feel that this is a must-watch?

Two things (large markets and summer television) will probably drive the ratings up. Then again, it can't go anywhere but up after a year with the Spurs, aka, the most unwatchable team in sports. And maybe there are still lingering feelings from the old days that will draw in some. But this isn't the "dream match up" everyone is talking about. Fans don't have anything riding on this like it used to be. It isn't Magic vs Bird. So please stop telling me that these Finals are somehow more important, because between the coasts, it's not.

The Evolution of Kobe Bryant

I have always been a Kobe Bryant hater. I think of him as a cocky, ball-hogging, backstabbing adulterer, a symbol of everything that's wrong with the NBA. During the offseason, it seemed as if I couldn't hate him more. He threw his teammates under the bus, demanded a trade, and pretty much threw a tantrum like a five year old kid. Like a good parent, the Lakers didn't bow down, let Kobe cry it out, and reminded him of who paid the rent (or multi-million dollar paycheck). Knowing how little time they had until little Kobe would act out, the Lakers went and got Kobe a little brother (Pau Gasol). The Lakers went on to the #1 seed in the West, Kobe got his MVP, and it's been good times ever since.

Comparing Bryant to a snotty brat might seem like I'm bashing him, but I've actually enjoyed this evolution. He was spoiled with Shaq, Phil and three rings at a very young age. It was no where but downhill for him, and we unfortunately had to bare witness to the attention-grabbing antics Kobe displayed since then. Shaq can't complain - he came out of the whole thing as the nice guy and ended up getting another ring anyways. Speaking in terms of only basketball, everyone was the better for it. Especially the world's best player.

In about half a season, Kobe has learned to be a leader and a team player. The league was buzzing with talk about the Celtics, Chris Paul and LeBron, while Bryant and the Lakers took a backseat. And this was fine by Bryant. He seemed to understand how lucky he was with the Gasol signing, and that he can't win a title by himself; something only a young player on top of the world would think anyways. He's been at the bottom, hated and accused of rape. He now realizes how hard it is to have a championship team, and how limited the time of a professional athlete is. After all, the #1 seed in the East is comprised of past their prime All-Stars desperately trying to do what he has already done three times.

I think it's safe to say that Kobe gets it now. With the kind of spotlight that shines on the stars of today, you can't really blame him for his antics. It's really telling to watch who was once the most arrogant player in the game be humbled in a matter of months. Now we can go back to watching the guy we thought he was - the one who scores 25 points in the second half against the defending champs. AKA, the best player in the league.

Playoffs dwarfed by the regular season for the NBA

Most basketball fans will agree that the 2007-08 NBA regular season was one of the best in recent memory. Watching the return of glory for both the Celtics and Lakers, Lebron giving Garnett-like effort every game, the beast that is Chris Paul, landmark trades, and of course, the seeding race in the West. It made the 82-game marathon watchable again. But then, the playoffs began.

Once again, the Suns-Spurs cage match came to soon, and ended the same way. And like the Suns, the Mavs showed that their blockbuster deal had as much substance as 'Superhero Movie'. The only drama came in the form of Atlanta taking Boston to a game 7. Which was horrid, because we all want to watch the Celtics, and nobody - NOBODY - wants to watch the Hawks for more than one series. So why has this postseason been so much more boring than the months preceding?

Mostly, because the same old thing starts to happen. Nobody is beatable every night because the good teams always step it up. You HAVE to play your A-game to beat the Lakers or Pistons. Nobody is taking any nights off. That's what has fueled college basketball for so long; the idea that any night can be an upset in the making. That's not the case in the pros, and never really has been.

The biggest difference this season, however, is the schedule. Every night you could watch teams busting their asses in the regular season. I loved getting off of work, cracking open a beer, and just enjoying a game. Now, I have to wait until the over-hyped, over-commercialized game comes on once every two days, knowing it will probably not live up to expectations. December games have no expectations, they simply are. Add in the fact that the second game doesn't end till after midnight (1:00 in the East Coast), and I'm already in bed.