Just Manny Being Like Everyone Else

Like most people with boring, unfulfilling jobs, I find myself spending roughly 5-7% of my time at work day-dreaming about what I would do if I won the lottery. Part of this fantasy is imagining my reaction to instantly becoming a millionaire. Would I flip out and run the streets naked and laughing? Perhaps I would would break down and cry in a fit of joy. And maybe, just maybe I would show up to work the next day as drunk as Dudley Moore in 'Arthur', walk into my boss's office, and happily sing "Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye" while urinating on his carpet. Yeah, I have a lot of downtime.

Which got me thinking; what would my reaction be to hear any baseball player of the past two decades tested positive to steroids. Manny Ramirez was one I thought I would drop my jaw over, but in reality, I merely shrugged and went about my day. So would anyone one name surprise me? Here's one: Greg Maddux.

Now, considering Maddux was a precision pitcher and not a rocket arm, there's somewhat like a 1% chance he used. But as Lloyd Christmas once said, so you're telling me there's a chance. And if Maddux was doped up, EVERYONE was doped up. That news would rock baseball's foundation as much as the initial steroid stories did. But Manny? Another one bites the dust, construction on the new wing of the Hall is already underway. That's what this whole bloody mess has become; a separation of stats. We can no longer compare Manny to Aaron or Clemens to Ryan. Until all of these players are retired and out of the picture, baseball will exist in a bubble and will be judged as such.

Just don't tell me that Greg Maddux was juiced. That would be worse than performing my "Na Na Hey Hey" dance with last week's Powerball numbers.